Revenge is a dish best served cod

"Hey, sweetie, I brought you some flowers!" Dion yelled.  As soon as that bitch came out of the house, he thought, he was going to fish-slap her so hard...

You think you've got it bad...

Every day it was the same thing, the eagle thought, just more entrails.  Christ, couldn't they at least once let him have the liver?

Amor

"Hey, babe, look out here—I'm dressed like Cupid like you said, naked with wings and arrows—it's weird being... let me in now?  Why are you taking a photo of me?  Are you going to date me now or not?"

Cave Lacertum

Though he was kept chained up, the demon lizard Robbie insisted on keeping in the front yard had already chewed off the legs of several passersby.

"And that's not my finger..."

Johannes, tripping balls, suddenly became aware that the staff in his hand felt alive.  He caressed it with care, overcome with a connection that was, eventually, orgasmic.

Meanwhile, on the farm...

Having fucked all the kine senseless, Johannes sat back to enjoy the lightning storm.  Damn, those were good shrooms—and he still had two more!

Firespinning: the early days

Early poi were time-consuming to prepare: dead geese swung by their necks, lit by handheld pots of fire.  And doing it stoned was just foolhardy.

Trails... I see trails...

"Let's see—you licked him here, so you should be feeling the effects right about... ah, there you go."

Works and days

Helga was known for her work in providing dildos and sangria to the children of the working poor.

Attack of the drones

Sheila awoke to find herself being fondled by a veritable squad of drones.

Meanwhile, at Burning Man...

One of the odder camps on the Playa was the feminist performance piece, "Hey, my nectarines are up here!"

Clients, amirite?

Gervais tried to convince le Duc that a straight drive through parkland would be the most appropriate, but the nobleman insisted on a raised and winding road, and so the workman started carting away centuries of topsoil.

Progress in crime and punishment

"And so you see, my dear, when I give the signal, my assistant will pull the lever, the counterweight will fall, and we can hang two dozen of the filthy wretches at a time, even more if they're children."

Though he be but little...

Yezekael was a nasty little fucker, always running around naked and grabbing ladies' tits.

Hildegard the Mad

Hildegard wasn't queen of shit—she just crazy.

Simplicity.

Moo.

Little known disabilities

Téodor suffered from Ótakar's Tourette's, which forced him—at any time and any place—to do the Hokey-Pokey.

Vissa d'arte

The opera scene in Europe was just getting weirder and weirder.

Meanwhile, in Antwerp

"Oh honey," cackled Katje, "you'll have to go to Brussels if you need ben-wa balls bigger than these."

Our Lady of the Brazilian

Each year the villagers' pageant about the reasons for keeping their public hair neatly trimmed became more and more elaborate as well as more metaphorical.

(Sorry for the unannounced hiatus last week.  Vacations happen.)