And what about his walking stick?

Now that they were here, Emily and Sarah were wondering exactly what Grandfather Squirrel had meant about showing them his nuts.

Outside the rave...

"Nothing yet?  Hm.  Here, let's suck on another one."

Overheard at the village pump

"Shit, Emma, I think I would tell him he has to wash out his own tightie whities if he's going to indulge in that kind of kink."

Not one of the 10 Principles

The larger Burning Man community had issues with Camp Team Bad Idea's plan to slingshot cream pies into the Temple burn.

Meanwhile, in Rotterdam

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Rupert was determined that this year his Synchronized Bovine Swimming Team was going to come in first in the All-Holy-Roman-Empire Games.

——or——

"Dammit, Gertrude, I told you already: four more laps!"

——or——

It was when the English started baptizing the livestock that the Dutch decided to throw the Pilgrims out.

One fine morning after...

The events of the previous evening were still unclear, but Francis seemed to recall a pill, some wicked hellebore, and then... why did seeing the fountain in the square give him a stiffy?

"You'll be fine, son..."

Little Erwin didn't know why the nice man was giving his father money, nor why the nice lady smiled so strangely at him, but he was glad that he would be "useful" to them in his new home.

Meanwhile, on quest...

"At last," Sir Bedivere thought as he peered through the keyhole of the stronghold, "the Toilet Plunger of Culhwch is within my reach!"

Oh, dude, my bad

Ambrose realized with dismay that Eduard was not on the same page by the way he interpreted "I want your big spear in my mouth."

Nothing new under the sun

Before the internet, it was possible to view Monkey Masturbation Porn, but it was trickier to arrange.

Soon... soon...

After years of careful selective breeding, Magda would finally be ready to revenge herself on the village.

Give the Devil his due

Elspeth kept her sword at the ready—that little fucker wasn't getting any more cocaine till he was paid up.

Meanwhile, on Madagascar

It was bad enough that they pushed him in, thought Ongo, but then the micturition began.

Some of her best friends...

She knew she ought to be impartial in handing out sticky buns to the starving village children, but Lady Aberstwyth simply didn't like the little brown one.

Nice ass!

Phæton realized with some chagrin that he wasn't wearing any underwear.

Mine is bigger than yours

"Hat-booping" was a little-known and less-understood means of communication for 17^th-century homosexuals.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

When Graecus's new friends suggested he join them in a "trireme," he thought they were referring to a ship.  He was mistaken.

Next up in Rio

"And now, St. Simon prepares for his reverse 2 1/2 somersaults in the pike position... "

Most ancient & fish-like

Guided only by his sense of smell, Zeus sometimes missed Danaë's boudoir by a mile.

Meanwhile in Sumeria

And on the fourteenth day, Ninhursag finished installing teats on the she-hog.

Horny-handed sons of toille

"Taffeta??  Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Couldn't Hurt, Might Help, Dept.

One more incision, and Esmerelda would be ready to transplant the pig's brain into her husband's head.

Under the sea

The tambourine-playing dorkfish was not as popular a replacement for the orca as Sea World had hoped.